August 10: Feeling Overwhelmed?
When Mum or Dad Feels Overwhelmed
There is a difference between being busy and being overwhelmed. Busy days come and go. They leave us tired, but after a good night's sleep or a quiet afternoon, we often feel ready to start again.
Overwhelm is different. It creeps in quietly, often without us noticing. It builds over days or weeks as responsibilities pile up, routines change and the needs of everyone around us continue to grow. Then before we know it, the smallest task can feel like one thing too many.
For many of us parents, the summer holidays create the perfect conditions for that feeling to appear. The days become less predictable, the juggling act becomes more demanding and the opportunities to pause become fewer. Yet many of us dismiss these feelings because "I'll be fine." And sometimes we are but sometimes we're not.
Overwhelm Doesn't Mean You're Failing
Parents are remarkably good at carrying on. We make the lunches, answer the questions, tidy the house, organise the activities and smile through the tiredness because that's what needs to happen. But because we become so used to coping that we stop noticing how much we're actually carrying. Feeling overwhelmed is often a sign that you've been carrying too much for too long.
Recognising the Early Signs
Burnout rarely arrives overnight. It usually gives us small signals that build up - being impatient over things that normally wouldn't bother you, feeling emotionally drained before the day has begun, struggling to make simple decisions because your mind feels constantly full, I always notice that my emails become less and less attended to.
Some of us become quieter, others more emotional, some feel guilty and some simply feel numb. There is no single way that overwhelm looks so it’s important to know what that looks like for you and to recognise that those feelings deserve attention rather than dismissal.
You Don't Have to Wait Until You're Running on Empty
One of the biggest misconceptions about burnout is that we only need to do something once we reach crisis point. But of course, the earlier we notice the signs, the easier it is to make small changes that protect our wellbeing.
That might mean asking for help, saying no to one more commitment, accepting that it’s ok to let some things slip, lowering your expectations for a while or talking to someone about how you’re feeling.
These are signs of self-awareness not weakness.
Looking After Yourself Is Looking After Your Family
Parents often worry that slowing down means letting their family down but it isn’t. When we ignore our own wellbeing for too long, it becomes harder to be patient, to listen, to enjoy the moments we want to treasure and to respond calmly when challenges arise.
Looking after yourself isn't taking something away from your children, it's helping to ensure that you have the emotional capacity to keep showing up for them in the way you want to.
Children need parents who show them that asking for help, recognising limits and treating yourself with kindness are all healthy parts of life.
Be Kind Before You're Forced to Stop
So many parents wait until they're completely exhausted before giving themselves permission to rest but what would happen if we offered ourselves that kindness a little earlier.
Imagine if we listened to the quiet signs as soon as they arose. You don't have to reach a limit or prove a point of highest tolerance to earn a break.
So if today feels heavier than usual, don't ignore that feeling. Listen to it and act.
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