July 27: The Adults They’re Watching
The Adults They're Watching
As parents, it's easy to wonder whether our voices still matter. When our children spend so much of their time surrounded by social media, online influencers, friends, teachers and the constant stream of messages that make up modern life, it can sometimes feel as though we are competing with the entire world for their attention. We repeat the same reminders, offer advice, encourage kindness and resilience, and wonder whether any of it is really sinking in.
The reassuring truth is that our children are learning from us all the time, not simply through the conversations we have, but through the lives we lead.
Children are remarkable observers. Long before they understand the meaning of our words, they notice our expressions, our tone of voice and the way we respond to the people around us. As they grow older, that quiet observation continues. They watch how we speak about neighbours, how we react to difficult news, how we handle disappointment, how we apologise when we've made a mistake and how we treat people who think differently from us.
Actions Build Beliefs
Throughout this month, we have explored topics such as empathy, belonging, critical thinking, resilience and respectful disagreement. We have considered the kind of adults we hope our children will become and the values we want to pass on. Those values are built gradually through what children see us do every day.
If we encourage kindness but speak harshly about others when they are not present, children notice. If we tell them to take breaks from their phones while we are constantly distracted by our own, they notice. If we encourage respectful conversations but react with anger whenever someone challenges our opinions, they notice. This is because children are trying to understand what really matters and it’s our behaviour that teaches them that far more clearly than our words.
Permission to Be Human
Many parents worry about getting things wrong and what we can show our children is that everyone makes mistakes, the important thing is to take responsibility for them.
When we apologise sincerely, admit we were wrong or explain how we hope to do better next time, we show our children that strength is not found in always being right, it is found in being willing to learn.
The Culture We Create at Home
The world beyond our front door will always be full of competing opinions, changing trends and influences that we cannot control. Home, however, can be the place where questions are welcomed rather than dismissed, where mistakes become opportunities to learn, where disagreement is met with respect, where people are listened to before they are judged and where kindness is expected, not because it earns praise, but because it reflects who we choose to be.
Children who experience this kind of environment carry it with them into classrooms, friendships, workplaces and communities. They begin to recreate the culture they have experienced at home. In that way, the values we model today quietly shape the world they will help build tomorrow.
The Legacy We Leave
As parents, we often think about the lessons we hope our children will remember and more often than not it will come down to these actions which reflect our values.
The way we treated people.
The way we spoke about those who were different from us.
The way we handled disappointment.
The way we celebrated kindness.
The way we made people feel.
Long after our children have forgotten the words we said, they will remember what it felt like to grow up in our home. They will remember whether it was a place where they felt safe to ask questions, confident enough to make mistakes and valued simply for being themselves.
Throughout this series, we have explored the world our children are growing up in and the many influences that will help shape the people they become. Perhaps the most reassuring truth of all is that amidst all the noise, all the headlines and all the opinions, they are still watching us because we are showing them every day what it means to be human. And there is no greater influence than that.
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