September 29: The Ripple Effect Of Making Someone Feel Welcome
The Ripple Effect of Making Someone Feel Welcome
There is something quite powerful about being made to feel welcome, particularly in those moments when we are not entirely sure whether we belong somewhere yet. It might be walking into a new workplace where everyone else seems to know one another, joining a meeting where we do not know quite how things work, finding ourselves in a conversation with people we have never spoken to before, or simply having one of those days when we feel a little more uncertain than usual. In those moments, something as simple as a warm greeting, a genuine introduction or someone making the effort to bring us into the conversation can change the experience completely.
What makes those moments so interesting is that they rarely end with the person who receives them. We carry our experiences with us, often without realising it, and the way somebody treats us can influence the way we treat the next person we meet. A colleague who was made to feel comfortable when they first joined a team may remember what that felt like and naturally do the same for someone new. Someone who was once given the confidence to ask a question may become more willing to create that same sense of safety for somebody else. In this way, something that began as one small interaction can travel much further than we ever intended it to.
The moments we remember
We probably do not remember every interaction we have at work. There are countless conversations, meetings, emails and introductions that disappear into the background of everyday life, but every now and then there is a moment that stays with us because of how it made us feel.
Maybe someone remembered our name when we were still learning everyone else's, or a colleague noticed that we were new and took the time to explain something that everyone else seemed to understand already, maybe someone introduced us to a wider group instead of leaving us to find our own way into the conversation, or simply made us feel that our presence was expected and appreciated.
None of these things requires a huge amount of time or effort, and yet they can make a surprisingly meaningful difference because they remove some of the uncertainty that comes with being unfamiliar. They tell us, in a very ordinary and human way, that we do not have to stand outside the group until we have somehow proved that we deserve to be there.
And when we have experienced that ourselves, we are often more likely to recognise it when somebody else needs it. We learn from what we experience, and we often repeat the behaviours that made a positive impression on us.
What we experience becomes what we pass on
Think about the first time you joined a new team or entered an unfamiliar environment. There may have been people who helped you find your feet without making a big deal of it, sharing the information you needed, explaining the things that were not immediately obvious or simply making conversation while you were still finding your place.
Now imagine that you are in the position of welcoming somebody else. You may find yourself doing exactly the things that somebody once did for you, perhaps without even remembering where the habit came from. You explain the unwritten process because you remember how confusing it was when nobody explained it to you, introduce someone to a colleague because you know how awkward it can feel to walk into a room where everyone already knows one another or make time for a question because you remember how difficult it can be to ask one.
That is the ripple. When welcome becomes something people have experienced for themselves, it becomes easier for them to offer it to others.
The atmosphere we create travels too
This is one of the reasons workplace culture is so much more than the policies and values written down by an organisation. Those things create important foundations, but the lived experience of a workplace is also shaped by the atmosphere people create around one another every day.
If people are generous with their knowledge, it becomes easier to ask for help. If colleagues respond to questions with patience rather than making someone feel foolish for not knowing, curiosity becomes easier. If people celebrate one another's successes without feeling that someone else's achievement takes anything away from their own, collaboration can become more natural.
Equally, when people experience a workplace where certain behaviours are consistently met with warmth and respect, they begin to understand that those behaviours belong there. They become part of the unwritten culture.
This is why one person's actions can matter beyond the moment itself.
Welcome can give people room to participate
Feeling welcome can also change what people feel able to contribute. When that uncertainty is reduced, we have more room to participate. We can concentrate on the conversation without worrying about interrupting, ask the question that might help everyone understand something more clearly, offer an idea that may lead the discussion somewhere unexpected and begin to build relationships that would otherwise have taken much longer to develop.
The benefit is not only experienced by the person who has been welcomed. Their colleagues gain access to their ideas, perspective, experience and personality too. Sometimes making someone feel that they belong can also make the whole group richer.
We do not need to know what someone is carrying
Perhaps one of the most valuable things about creating a culture of welcome is that we do not need to know someone's personal story before we decide that they deserve to feel comfortable.
We can simply create a culture where warmth, respect and consideration are offered as part of the ordinary experience of being around other people.
A culture of welcome benefits everyone, because all of us will find ourselves on the unfamiliar side of the room at some point.
The ripple reaches further than we can see
One of the loveliest things about this idea is that we rarely know how far a positive interaction might travel. We do not get to see the whole chain and perhaps we do not need to.
There is something reassuring in knowing that the value of an interaction does not depend on us seeing its outcome. We can offer kindness, patience and welcome simply because those are the qualities we want to contribute to the world around us, trusting that they may find their way further than we can see.
This is particularly relevant when we think about workplace culture because organisations are made up of relationships, and relationships are constantly influencing one another. A person's experience of being treated well can affect their confidence, their willingness to participate and the way they approach others, which means that the culture we create is never entirely contained within a single conversation.
What are we passing forward?
As we come towards the end of our September exploration of belonging, perhaps today's reflection is about looking beyond the immediate moment and thinking about what we might be passing forward through the way we treat people.
You do not need to know whether someone needs a welcome and you do not need to know their circumstances or understand their story. You can simply offer one and while we may never know exactly what someone carries forward from the way we treated them, we can choose what we put into the world around us.
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