September 26: Building Spaces Where People Can Be Themselves
Building Spaces Where People Can Be Themselves
There is something quietly powerful about being able to walk into a room without wondering which version of yourself you are expected to be. We all adapt to different situations, of course; the way we speak to a close friend is not necessarily the way we speak in a meeting, and most of us naturally adjust depending on who we are with and what the situation requires. But there is a difference between adapting to a situation and feeling that we have to edit ourselves in order to be accepted.
A workplace where people can genuinely be themselves is not one where everyone says exactly what they think, behaves exactly as they would at home or ignores the need for professionalism and respect. It is a workplace where people can bring their personality, perspective, experiences and individuality with them without feeling that these things are a disadvantage. It is a place where professionalism does not require people to become versions of themselves that are smaller, quieter or more carefully constructed than the people they really are.
And that matters because people do their best work when they have the freedom to contribute as themselves rather than constantly wondering whether they are getting the “right” version of themselves across.
We all make adjustments
Most of us have experienced the feeling of entering a new environment and trying to work out how things are done. We watch how other people behave, listen to the language they use and notice what seems to be appreciated or discouraged. This is a completely natural part of becoming comfortable somewhere, but it can become tiring when the message we receive is that belonging depends on learning to behave like everyone else.
Perhaps it is changing the way we speak because our natural communication style feels different from those around us. Perhaps it is avoiding parts of our personality because they do not seem to fit the prevailing culture, keeping quiet about something important because we are unsure how it will be received, or feeling that we need to hide aspects of our life because they do not seem to have a place in workplace conversation.
These adjustments can be so subtle that we may not even recognise them as something we are doing. We simply become accustomed to filtering ourselves.
Belonging should not require us to constantly monitor ourselves.
What does it actually mean to be yourself at work?
Being yourself does not mean that every workplace needs to become an extension of our personal lives. Boundaries are healthy, and everyone has different ideas about how much of themselves they want to share at work. Inclusion is not about encouraging people to disclose personal information or expecting colleagues to become emotionally open in ways that do not feel comfortable to them.
Instead, it is about having choice.
You should be able to decide how much of your personality you bring into a conversation without feeling that there is one particular personality type that is more valued than another. You should be able to have a different perspective without being labelled difficult simply because you see something differently. You should be able to communicate in a way that feels natural to you, within the needs of the role, rather than feeling that confidence, extroversion or a particular social style is the only route to being recognised.
Culture should have room for difference
A strong workplace culture is sometimes described as one where everyone shares the same values, but shared values do not need to mean shared personalities. In fact, a healthy culture can provide a framework within which people are able to be quite different from one another.
You can have the person who loves being the centre of the conversation alongside the person who prefers to listen carefully before speaking. You can have colleagues who build relationships through social events alongside those who connect more naturally through shared projects or quieter conversations. You can have people who are enthusiastic about every team activity alongside those who prefer to keep their work and personal lives more separate.
None of these approaches is inherently better.
When we stop expecting everyone to demonstrate belonging in the same way, we create more possibilities for people to contribute. We also begin to recognise that difference is one of the things that makes a team stronger. This is where inclusion becomes much more than representation. It becomes about the everyday experience of being allowed to participate without having to become someone else first.
Leaders have an important role to play
Leaders inevitably influence what feels acceptable within a workplace, often without realising just how closely their behaviour is being observed. When a leader is comfortable acknowledging that they do not know something, asking for another opinion or admitting that they got something wrong, they can make it easier for others to do the same. When they show genuine interest in different working styles and avoid rewarding only the most visible or outspoken behaviours, they send a powerful message about what the organisation values.
There is also something valuable in leaders allowing a little humanity into the workplace. Not oversharing, not removing professional boundaries, but being willing to show that they are people too.
A manager who recognises that different people may communicate, collaborate and build relationships differently can help remove the pressure to conform to one particular way of working. These behaviours help shape the unwritten rules of a workplace.
And the more permission people have to be themselves, the less energy they need to spend trying to work out who they are supposed to be.
Creating space without asking people to perform
There is another important distinction here. Creating a workplace where people can be themselves should never become another expectation that people have to perform. Not everyone wants to share their whole personality at work or talk about their personal life. True inclusion leaves room for privacy as well as openness.
The goal is to create a workplace where people have enough freedom to decide what they want to bring, without feeling that withholding parts of themselves makes them less valued.
This can be particularly important for people whose identities or circumstances have historically made them feel that they need to explain, justify or carefully manage how they are perceived. A culture that genuinely values difference does not constantly ask people to represent an entire community, explain their identity or educate everyone else. It gives them the same fundamental freedom everyone else has: the freedom to simply be a colleague, a professional, a person with ideas and talents, rather than becoming defined by one aspect of who they are.
The workplace becomes richer when people can bring more of themselves
When people feel comfortable enough to bring their authentic perspectives to work, everyone benefits.
We hear ideas that might otherwise have remained unspoken. We see problems from different angles. We challenge assumptions that have become invisible through familiarity. We learn from experiences that are different from our own, and we create teams where people are less likely to feel that there is only one acceptable way to contribute.
The human benefit is that there can be a sense of ease in knowing that your personality is welcome, your perspective has value and your differences do not automatically place you outside the culture of the organisation. To create a workplace where people feel comfortable being different.
What could we make easier?
Creating these kinds of spaces is found in the accumulated choices an organisation makes about how it works, what it rewards, whose working styles it recognises and how much freedom people have to contribute in different ways. Most importantly, we can become more comfortable with the idea that difference does not need to be corrected in order for a team to work well. Sometimes the most inclusive thing we can do is resist the urge to make everyone fit the same mould because when people no longer have to spend quite so much energy trying to fit in, they have more energy available for creativity, collaboration, relationships and doing work they can be proud of.
To build a workplace culture where professionalism and individuality can exist comfortably alongside one another, where people have boundaries as well as freedom, and where nobody has to become a different version of themselves simply to feel that they have earned their place.
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