September 22: Belonging Begins With Curiosity
Belonging Begins With Curiosity
There is something very human about wanting to understand one another. We are naturally curious about the people around us but in many places, including work, we sometimes make assumptions instead of asking questions. We might assume we know what someone means, what they need, what they are comfortable with or what their experience has been, often without even realising that we are doing it. But remembering to be curious allows us to look a little closer and create space for people to be known rather than simply assumed.
This means approaching other people with an openness. Understanding that each person’s lived experience is different and wanting to understand the other person’s. This mindset can make a remarkable difference to the way we work together.
Moving beyond what we think we know
We all carry assumptions with us. They are a natural part of being human and help us make sense of a world that would otherwise feel overwhelming. What we actively have to remember is that assumptions is not the same as fact. We must not assume that someone doesn’t have a contribution simply because they haven’t spoken yet. Or that a colleague who does not attend social events is uninterested in connecting - they may just have responsibilities outside work that restrict their social/work calendar. We mustn’t assume everyone will understand a particular reference or tradition because it feels obvious to us; it may well be unfamiliar to someone else.
Curiosity tells us to pause and consider instead of deciding that we already know the answer.
Curiosity is not interrogation
Of course, there is an important difference between being curious about people and making people feel as though they are being examined.
Inclusive curiosity is about a willingness to learn. You’re not asking someone to explain their identity, justify their experience, educate everyone else or become the spokesperson for an entire group. We can and should educate ourselves and we should listen.
Equally, sometimes curiosity means knowing when not to ask, recognising that people have boundaries and that respect includes allowing people to decide what they wish to share. Everyone should feel able to be themselves without feeling that their difference makes them responsible for satisfying everyone else's curiosity.
Curiosity helps us listen differently
There is also a huge difference between listening to respond and listening to understand.
We have all experienced conversations where someone appears to be listening, but we can almost see them preparing what they are going to say next. Sometimes they are waiting for their opportunity to disagree, sometimes it’s to explain why they think something will not work and sometimes it’s to tell us about their own experience.
Curiosity changes the intention behind listening.
When we are genuinely curious, we are not necessarily looking for an opportunity to respond. We are trying to understand the person in front of us. This can be particularly valuable at work, where different perspectives are essential but disagreement is inevitable.
A colleague may approach a problem differently from us, have a completely different view of what the priority should be or they may challenge something that has always been done in a particular way.
So let’s take those on board and become curious about why they see it differently. Being curious doesn’t mean you then have to agree, it simply means we give understanding a chance.
Curiosity makes room for difference
One of the most powerful things about curiosity is that it allows difference to exist. It means recognising that our perspective is one perspective among many.
In an inclusive workplace, this can create an environment where people feel more comfortable bringing their ideas, experiences and identities into the room. They do not have to convince everyone that their way is the right way. They simply need to know that difference will be met with respect rather than immediate judgement. This helps belonging grow by allowing everyone to feel that their differences can be understood.
What does curiosity look like in practice?
It can be surprisingly simple. Rather than assuming your approach would be the correct one, ask a colleague how they would approach it and then genuinely consider their response. Open up discussion around established workplace traditions to see if there are other ways to achieve the sense of connection you feel from that practice. Listen when someone says something doesn’t work for them. Be curious about processes and language in use.
Curiosity is a form of humility
Curiosity asks us to accept that we do not have all the answers. We can be experienced and still have more to learn, we can have the best of intentions and still get things wrong, we can care deeply about inclusion and still carry assumptions we have never questioned.
The most inclusive workplaces are the workplaces where people are comfortable enough to keep learning. Where asking questions, changing your mind and saying “I don’t know” is not weakness but opportunity. That kind of culture benefits everyone.
Curiosity and belonging go hand in hand
When we are curious about one another, we create opportunities for people to be seen in all their individuality. And when people feel seen, belonging becomes much easier to build.
Curiosity lives in the everyday moments of working life and these small moments accumulate. They can create a culture where people expect to be listened to, where difference is treated with interest rather than suspicion, and where people feel that there is room for their experiences and perspectives. Belonging begins with being open to learning.
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