September 20: Why Community Matters More Than Ever
Why Community Matters More Than Ever
We spend a huge part of our lives at work, surrounded by people who may have very different experiences, backgrounds, responsibilities and perspectives from our own. Yet being surrounded by people does not automatically create a sense of community. Community is something that grows when people feel connected to one another, when there is a sense of shared purpose, and when people know that they are not simply individuals moving through the same organisation, but part of something they have a role in shaping.
In a world where so much of our communication happens through screens, messages, emails and meetings, the human connection behind our working relationships matters more than ever. We can be more connected digitally than at any other point in history while still missing some of the small, everyday interactions that help us feel known, valued and part of something bigger than ourselves.
Community can have a profound impact on our wellbeing, our confidence and our ability to navigate difficult periods in our lives. When people have relationships they can rely on, spaces where they can be themselves and a genuine sense that they are not facing everything alone, they have something incredibly valuable.
Community is more than being together
It is easy to assume that community happens naturally when people work in the same place. We share offices, channels, projects, deadlines and occasionally a slightly mysterious collection of mugs in the kitchen, so surely that must mean we are connected but proximity is not the same as community.
A person can sit in an office every day and still feel disconnected from the people around them. Someone working remotely can be physically distant from their colleagues while feeling deeply connected to the organisation and the people within it. The difference is often found in the quality of the relationships and the opportunities people have to participate.
Maybe a colleague checks in with you after a difficult meeting, your manager remembers an important personal situation you mentioned a few weeks ago or your organisation creates opportunities for people to share their experiences and learn from one another.
None of these moments appear on a strategy document and they may not have a measurable output but collectively they can have a huge influence on how people experience work.
When community is missing
The importance of community becomes particularly clear when we look at what can happen when it is absent. For many men, opportunities to build deep friendships and talk openly about what is happening in their lives can become increasingly limited as they move through adulthood. Work becomes busy, family responsibilities grow, friendships can become harder to maintain and traditional spaces where men naturally spent time together have changed or disappeared.
There can also be cultural expectations around masculinity that make emotional openness feel uncomfortable. If men have repeatedly heard messages about being strong, coping independently, not making a fuss or simply “getting on with it”, asking for connection can feel surprisingly difficult.
The result is not that men do not want friendship or community. In fact, research has consistently highlighted the importance men place on friendships. A report from the UK Men's Sheds Association, drawing on the Harry's Masculinity Report, found that more than 80% of men surveyed described friendships as important or very important to them. The challenge is that men don’t necessarily create the spaces where those friendships can develop.
This matters enormously because loneliness is about about not having people with whom we feel able to share the parts of ourselves that matter. And that is one reason the growth of men's community organisations is so interesting.
Creating spaces where men can connect
There are emerging organisations that are responding to this need by creating opportunities for men to meet, build friendships and talk in ways that feel natural rather than forced.
These organisations facilitate a range of activities and social events to give men a comfortable way to access community and connection.
For some men, having something to do together creates the safety needed for genuine friendship to develop. Research and parliamentary evidence around men's mental health has also highlighted the value of these approaches, where connection can grow through shared activities rather than requiring immediate emotional disclosure.
This gives us a useful reminder that we don't always need to create formal spaces for connection, we need to create more opportunities for people to spend time together in ways that feel natural to them.
Making vulnerability part of community
HOT BOYS CRY is explicitly challenging traditional ideas around masculinity by creating spaces where men can talk, connect and be emotionally open. Its community includes boys-only and mixed spaces, with its CRY Sessions offering activities, conversations and small-group connection without requiring people to treat the experience as therapy. It also makes super cool merch!
The underlying message is that men should not have to choose between being masculine and being emotionally connected. Being vulnerable does not have to mean abandoning strength, looking for friendship does not mean weakness and talking about something difficult does not make someone less capable.
In fact, having people around you with whom you can be honest is one of the things that makes it easier to cope with the inevitable challenges of adult life. And this applies to workplace culture too. We sometimes talk about psychological safety as though it only exists within formal conversations about work but people bring their whole selves to work. Their relationships, responsibilities, worries, identities, successes and difficult days do not disappear when they log on.
A workplace cannot and should not become someone's entire support system but it can be a place where healthy relationships are encouraged.
Community is an inclusion issue
If the people who naturally find their way into workplace social circles are predominantly those who already feel confident, connected and comfortable in the existing culture, then informal community can become a source of exclusion. Opportunities can be missed because someone was not part of the conversation at the pub, relationships can develop because a group regularly meets outside working hours, new ideas can emerge from informal conversations that some colleagues rarely have access to.
None of this happens deliberately which is why it needs considered attention.
Creating an inclusive community means recognising that people need different routes to connection. Just as a man might need an activity to distract them from the worry of vulnerability in forging friendships, a woman might be perfectly at ease sitting down face to face to get to know someone. Others might find their community through a cultural network, a professional group, a shared hobby or a mentoring relationship. There is no single formula.
The goal is to make sure that belonging is not reserved for the people who happen to fit most comfortably into the existing culture.
What can workplaces learn from this?
Community cannot simply be announced into existence, it develops through repeated experiences of connection and does not have to look the same for everybody.
Perhaps your organisation could create more opportunities for shared activities rather than relying entirely on formal networking. Perhaps there is an opportunity to support employee-led communities, mentoring or interest groups. Perhaps teams could create simple rituals that give people time to connect without turning connection into another item on a packed agenda.
Meaningful relationships are part of what makes work feel human and there’s always a chance you’ll forge a connection that carries outside of the working environment.
We all have a part to play
The growing interest in men's communities is a useful reminder that connection does not happen automatically simply because we are surrounded by other people. There are now organisations creating spaces where men can find friendship, openness and belonging in ways that challenge the idea that they should simply cope alone.
And while those organisations have a particular focus, the wider lesson is that we all need community.
At work, we have an opportunity to create more of those spaces where we can laugh, talk, listen, learn, disagree, share experiences and sometimes simply spend time together without having to perform a particular version of ourselves.
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