It's Not Just Part of Being a Woman
There is a phrase that many women will have heard throughout their lives, sometimes from other people and sometimes from themselves, that seems harmless enough on the surface: “It's just one of those things.” It might be said about painful periods, the exhaustion that comes with balancing everyday responsibilities or symptoms that have gradually become so familiar that they no longer feel worth mentioning. Over time, those words can become a way of making sense of experiences that are uncomfortable or difficult to explain, particularly when women have grown up surrounded by the idea that certain kinds of pain and discomfort are simply part of being female.
As we begin our first week of Breaking the Silence, focusing on women's health and the conversations we've been avoiding, it feels important to explore how easily something can become accepted as normal simply because it is common. Many health experiences are shared by large numbers of women, but that doesn't necessarily mean they should be dismissed or endured without support. Yet when symptoms are repeatedly described as something everybody goes through, it can become increasingly difficult to recognise when an experience deserves further attention, particularly if previous attempts to seek medical advice have left somebody feeling that their concerns were not particularly important.
There is a difference between recognising that women's bodies experience natural changes throughout life and assuming that every uncomfortable symptom should simply be tolerated. Menstruation, pregnancy, perimenopause and menopause can all involve physical and emotional changes, but the fact that these experiences are familiar does not mean that significant pain or symptoms affecting everyday life should automatically be considered inevitable. When discomfort is treated as an expected part of being a woman, the conversation can quietly shift away from understanding what somebody is experiencing towards encouraging them to find ways of carrying on regardless.
And new research suggests that this tendency to minimise women's experiences may have consequences far beyond everyday conversations.
A study published in October 2026, led by researchers at the University of Cambridge and the University of East Anglia, examined the reported diagnostic experiences of 6,607 people living with autoimmune diseases. It found that 34% of female participants reported having their symptoms incorrectly attributed to psychosomatic causes, compared with 22% of male participants. After accounting for factors including age, disease group and household finances, women were nearly 75% more likely than men to report this type of misdiagnosis.
The same research found that 43% of women reported having their autoimmune symptoms incorrectly attributed to a psychiatric cause, compared with 33% of men. Women also reported longer journeys towards receiving the correct diagnosis, with the most commonly reported time between symptoms beginning and diagnosis being one to two years for women, compared with less than three months for men.
These findings relate specifically to people with autoimmune diseases rather than all women seeking healthcare, but they highlight an important concern about how physical symptoms can be interpreted and whose experiences are taken seriously.
Perhaps what makes these findings particularly troubling is the possibility that women can begin to question their own experiences when they repeatedly encounter explanations that don't reflect what they are feeling. When somebody has spent months or years trying to understand why they are unwell, being told that their symptoms are psychological before other possible explanations have been properly explored can affect not only their access to treatment but also their confidence in their own understanding of their body.
For some women, the expectation to tolerate discomfort begins surprisingly early. A young girl experiencing painful periods may grow up hearing that cramps are something she will eventually get used to, while another may find herself struggling with symptoms that affect her ability to concentrate at school without understanding whether what she is experiencing is typical. Those early conversations can influence how women interpret their health for years afterwards, particularly when the message they receive is that being able to tolerate discomfort is simply part of growing up.
As women move through different stages of life, the circumstances may change, but the expectation to manage quietly can remain. Health concerns become intertwined with work and family responsibilities, particularly when there is little opportunity to rest or when admitting that something is difficult feels like letting other people down. Some women become so accustomed to organising their lives around symptoms that they begin to see those adjustments as part of their normal routine, without necessarily recognising how much their health is influencing what they feel able to do.
What makes this particularly difficult is that these experiences are not always visible to the people around them. Someone may appear perfectly capable of managing their responsibilities while privately navigating discomfort that affects their sleep, concentration or confidence, and because they have become skilled at continuing with everyday life, others may never realise how much effort that requires. The absence of visible distress can reinforce the assumption that everything is manageable, even when the person experiencing it has simply become accustomed to not showing how difficult things feel.
There is also something important about the language we use when talking about women's health, because seemingly small comments can influence whether somebody feels comfortable seeking support. When symptoms are described as an overreaction or something that everybody experiences, the intention may be to reassure, but the impact can be quite different. A woman who has spent months trying to understand why she feels unwell may begin to question whether her experience is significant enough to deserve attention, particularly if the people around her appear to regard it as an ordinary inconvenience rather than something affecting her quality of life.
Of course, not every uncomfortable experience is a sign of an underlying medical condition, and recognising natural variations in health is important. However, there is a significant difference between offering reassurance after taking somebody's concerns seriously and dismissing those concerns before they have been properly understood. When symptoms are persistent, severe or affecting everyday life, women deserve the opportunity to discuss them without feeling that they are making an unnecessary fuss, and they should be able to seek appropriate medical advice without having to justify why their experience matters.
Within workplaces, these assumptions can have a particularly significant impact, especially when women feel that acknowledging a health concern might influence how others perceive their capability or commitment. Someone managing difficult symptoms may choose to remain silent because they worry about being seen as unreliable, while another may continue working through considerable discomfort because the culture around them has never made it clear that discussing health-related needs would be met with understanding. In those circumstances, silence can become a way of protecting professional credibility, even when it comes at a personal cost.
Creating a more supportive workplace does not mean expecting women to share private medical information or explain every aspect of their health. It means recognising that people can experience challenges that are not immediately visible and ensuring that conversations about support and adjustments can take place without embarrassment or judgement. When managers approach health concerns with compassion and flexibility, they help create environments where employees do not feel that managing their wellbeing must come at the expense of being taken seriously.
At Powered by Diversity, our work with lived experience highlights the importance of understanding what sits behind the experiences people bring into their workplaces. Two individuals may appear to be navigating similar circumstances while experiencing them in very different ways, and the assumptions we make about what somebody should be able to manage can prevent us from recognising when additional understanding or support is needed. Creating inclusive environments involves being willing to listen without expecting everybody to fit within the same definition of what is normal.
Perhaps one of the most meaningful changes we can make is to become more conscious of the expectations we place on women to tolerate discomfort without complaint. There is a difference between resilience and having no alternative but to keep going, just as there is a difference between accepting that some experiences are common and assuming they should never be questioned. When women recognise that something is affecting their health or quality of life, they should be met with curiosity and appropriate support rather than the suggestion that they simply need to become better at coping.
As we continue our conversations about women's health throughout this week, we'll be exploring what happens when concerns are raised but not properly heard, and how repeatedly seeking answers can affect somebody's confidence in their own understanding of their body. These are important conversations because the silence surrounding women's health is not created by people being unwilling to talk. It develops because the experiences they have tried to explain have been treated as ordinary for so long that they begin to wonder whether speaking about them will make any difference.
Breaking that silence begins with recognising that common experiences are not necessarily insignificant ones, and that somebody should not have to reach a point of crisis before their concerns are taken seriously. Women deserve to feel that their health matters throughout every stage of life, and that seeking understanding or support is not a sign of weakness or an inability to cope.
Just because women have learned to live with something doesn't mean they should have to. And perhaps one of the most important conversations we can begin is the one that challenges the idea that suffering quietly is simply part of being a woman.
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